She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Boobs are out for the taking
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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