But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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