I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
