he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
