all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
