You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
