Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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