I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
