That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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