is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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