Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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