You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
