I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
