took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
