I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
