And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i will never coherently bang her
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
