She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
