I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
