you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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