I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
