Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
