His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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