Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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