Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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