Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
