i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
