Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
