Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize