I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
