I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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