Christians are straight up FREAKS
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
