This girl is more easily done than said...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
me + whiskey = a bad person
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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