google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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