I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
