none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
