I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize