i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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