He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
