Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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