I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
