he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
