is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
