You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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