I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
