Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
