If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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