There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
