Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
