My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
