GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She even gives head with a lisp.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
