I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
