I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
