I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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