No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
