You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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