It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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