i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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