god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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