i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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