she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize